Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
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Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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