Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
