I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
