Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
