Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i dont even know how to be here
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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