Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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