so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
