fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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