So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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