Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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