the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
