I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
