carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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