Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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