we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
