Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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