When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
