I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
