Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize