You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
