we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
