yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
