I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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