I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
