how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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