what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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