Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
