i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
