I wish I could teleport
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
