they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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