also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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