The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
