Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
