the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
