cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
