THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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