when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
