And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
