It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
