you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
