Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize