he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
At least life still wants to fuck me.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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