have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
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You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
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they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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