Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
