i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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