cat food counts as protein by the way
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize