I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
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he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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