hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We don't watch enough power rangers
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
