he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
