You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
