im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
40s are totally the cure
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
