singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
