Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
