Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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