so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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