Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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