We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm like, not good at living.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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