Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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