I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
