pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
